Healing the Good Girl Wound: Learning to Be Seen, Heard, and Respected

I used to pride myself on being the “easy one.”
The one who didn’t complain. The one who always said yes. The one who was helpful, kind, and never “too much.”

But deep down?
I was exhausted.
Resentful.
Invisible.

I wasn’t being good—I was being silent. And that silence was costing me everything.

What Is the “Good Girl” Wound?

The “good girl” wound is the belief that you must earn love, safety, or approval by:

• Putting others first (even when it hurts you)

• Keeping your opinions quiet

• Being agreeable—even when you disagree

• Never showing anger, sadness, or needs

You were likely taught this early—at home, in school, even in church or relationships. But just because it’s familiar doesn’t mean it’s right.

What Healing Looks Like

Healing the good girl wound isn’t about becoming loud or aggressive.
It’s about becoming whole—and honoring every part of you, not just the “nice” ones.

3 Steps to Start Healing

1. Recognize Where You’re Shrinking

Ask yourself:

• Where do I feel afraid to speak up?

• When do I pretend to be okay to keep the peace?

• What am I really feeling beneath the smile?

Awareness is the first step to change.

2. Start Saying What You Mean—Gently, But Honestly

Try this:

• “Actually, I’m not okay with that.”

• “I’d like to do it differently.”

• “That hurt my feelings.”

It might feel scary at first, but your truth matters.

Use the EmpowerHer Mindset Workbook to practice rewriting beliefs and creating confidence scripts for hard conversations. It’s like having a mirror that helps you speak with love and power.

3. Unlearn the Lie That Being Liked = Being Safe

You are allowed to disappoint people who expect you to stay silent.
You are allowed to be your full self—even if it makes others uncomfortable.

The right people won’t need you to dim your light.
They’ll hand you the mic—and want to hear what you really have to say.

Reminder:

You don’t need to be the “good girl.”
You need to be yourself.
And that woman? She’s allowed to take up space.

Ready to Let Go of the Good Girl Rules?

The EmpowerHer Mindset Workbook helps you release old patterns, express your truth, and rebuild your confidence on your terms.